I have heard this sentence from so many of my woman friends. Hell even I have, on numerous occasions, said that I wished to be a man. Ever since I was a little kid, my girl friends and I have tried many times dressing up like boys and going out the streets to get a feeling of what it's like "to be free", and to be able to play outside. As girls, we weren't really allowed to be out in the streets, unlike our brothers, and so that always intrigued us.
To be honest, I don't blame any woman in our society for wishing to be a man. Why, you may ask? Because as we all know, most (not all) women in our society are taught to only be in the kitchen and at home in service of the man. While men can go out, work, drive, and contribute to the society, women should only stay at home, cook, clean, take care of the children, and then find the time to dress up and look pretty for their men! It is as if the woman was created just for the man, as if Allah swt created women only to look after men and help them feel comfortable and spoiled. And the worst part is, I have heard so many men say that they got married to relax! Because in their eyes, getting married means they can finally have someone who obeys them, cooks for them, cleans for them, looks after them, and lives just to see them happy. And no offense guys, but that is just sick. Us women don't get married so we can be at your service, we're not that generous and selfless... You should get married because you want a partner and companion, not a maid or a slave. You should get married because you want a mate to love, respect, advice, and share everything with.
Surprisingly, when I was thinking to write about this, I have happened to ask many of my girl friends whether or not they wished to be men and why. ALL of the answers came back with a YES, some of the reasons included:
- "To be freeeee. To be able to do whatever and go wherever without a care in the world! How awesome would that be!"
- "The responsibilities of a man are easier than that of a woman (even if they think otherwise) and that's why I would rather be a man."
- "To be able to do sports and travel around."
- "To make decisions and choices for myself."
- "To walk down the street and not be harassed by every man who walks by me."
- "Wow! I just imagined me being a man. Not having to wake up early to make breakfast, wake my husband up and get the kids dressed for school, clean the house, do laundry and ironing, cook lunch, wait for my husband and the kids to come back, make tea and desert in the afternoon, get dressed, sit with my husband for a while attending his needs, make dinner, wash the dishes, etc, etc!!! If I was a man, all I'd have to do is get up, go to work, come back for a ready meal, and then sit and relax or go out with friends! That would be amazing wallah!"
So after I heard so many statements from so many girls telling me how awesome it would be to be a man, I felt really sad honestly. Because it is not just men that made women's lives this way, it is us (women) too. We also believe that there are certain things we shouldn't do because we're 'women' and that there are certain things that we should do for men also because we're their 'women', and nothing is going to change unless we change that attitude.
So, today I have decided to make a pact with myself:
"I, Alaa Al-Eryani, hereby vow that I will always be proud to be a woman. I will break every rule and do whatever I want and I'm not going to care what others think or say. I'm going to walk down the street and no matter how many men throw awful words at me, I won't care. I'm going to make my own decisions and choices without the permission of a man. I am going to travel around, drive, work, and go out for a jog if I feel like it. I will even go out and play soccer with the kids in the street if I want to. I will be independent and in control of my own life. I will not allow any man to control me, or think for a second that my duty is to listen to him. I am free, and I will fight for women's freedom until we are equal to men."
To be honest, I don't blame any woman in our society for wishing to be a man. Why, you may ask? Because as we all know, most (not all) women in our society are taught to only be in the kitchen and at home in service of the man. While men can go out, work, drive, and contribute to the society, women should only stay at home, cook, clean, take care of the children, and then find the time to dress up and look pretty for their men! It is as if the woman was created just for the man, as if Allah swt created women only to look after men and help them feel comfortable and spoiled. And the worst part is, I have heard so many men say that they got married to relax! Because in their eyes, getting married means they can finally have someone who obeys them, cooks for them, cleans for them, looks after them, and lives just to see them happy. And no offense guys, but that is just sick. Us women don't get married so we can be at your service, we're not that generous and selfless... You should get married because you want a partner and companion, not a maid or a slave. You should get married because you want a mate to love, respect, advice, and share everything with.
Surprisingly, when I was thinking to write about this, I have happened to ask many of my girl friends whether or not they wished to be men and why. ALL of the answers came back with a YES, some of the reasons included:
- "To be freeeee. To be able to do whatever and go wherever without a care in the world! How awesome would that be!"
- "The responsibilities of a man are easier than that of a woman (even if they think otherwise) and that's why I would rather be a man."
- "To be able to do sports and travel around."
- "To make decisions and choices for myself."
- "To walk down the street and not be harassed by every man who walks by me."
- "Wow! I just imagined me being a man. Not having to wake up early to make breakfast, wake my husband up and get the kids dressed for school, clean the house, do laundry and ironing, cook lunch, wait for my husband and the kids to come back, make tea and desert in the afternoon, get dressed, sit with my husband for a while attending his needs, make dinner, wash the dishes, etc, etc!!! If I was a man, all I'd have to do is get up, go to work, come back for a ready meal, and then sit and relax or go out with friends! That would be amazing wallah!"
So after I heard so many statements from so many girls telling me how awesome it would be to be a man, I felt really sad honestly. Because it is not just men that made women's lives this way, it is us (women) too. We also believe that there are certain things we shouldn't do because we're 'women' and that there are certain things that we should do for men also because we're their 'women', and nothing is going to change unless we change that attitude.
So, today I have decided to make a pact with myself:
"I, Alaa Al-Eryani, hereby vow that I will always be proud to be a woman. I will break every rule and do whatever I want and I'm not going to care what others think or say. I'm going to walk down the street and no matter how many men throw awful words at me, I won't care. I'm going to make my own decisions and choices without the permission of a man. I am going to travel around, drive, work, and go out for a jog if I feel like it. I will even go out and play soccer with the kids in the street if I want to. I will be independent and in control of my own life. I will not allow any man to control me, or think for a second that my duty is to listen to him. I am free, and I will fight for women's freedom until we are equal to men."
